The Burden of the Story

It's been nearly 2 1/2 years and I still run into firsts. I have been somewhat caught off guard by this concept of sharing his story with people who never knew of him. I was traveling and went out with another remote coworker who is kind of new to the company. The only thing he knows about me is that I have 2 kids and it seems I am a single parent-though I never call myself that.  There are many people in my life now that don't know about Reid and I don't like it. So, we were talking and I just dropped the bombshell and then quickly try to continue the story so I don't leave this guy in the awkward state of silence. I had never done this before and sometimes I actually feel guilty. How can I not talk about him. How can I not bring up any story of my 23 years with him? I shared this with another friend of mine who nailed it. "This was the greatest time of you life and the ending was the most significant experience you have ever ever had but you can't talk about it because you don't want to burden the other person.". Exactly! That was exactly it. It is nobody's fault. Not some flaw in our society. It is just part of the journey and part of the learning.

It was so wonderful talking about him.

My 27th 7th

27 months post loss and it is still a part of my soul. An outsider might think I am stuck in the past when I am very much in the present. I had many words to post today but I think I can simplify by describing the day.

- His youngest daughter took her driving test today. She is driving his truck as she learns and will be driving it when she turns 16. She has kept a few things in the car that were his and I love that. She drives a car that says "EWU Dad" on the back window. She has never asked for that to be removed and I love that. She passed with a 96% and we all love that.

- His oldest daughter went to a Blazer game with Josh. Reid would love Josh as much as I do. Blazers were playing the Jazz- the source of my Jeff Hornacek 'pumpkin' story. While they were there, Syd thought she saw Sam so asked that I connect them. They are connected- his oldest daughter and one of our our flower girls.

- His wife, got the boat out of the water and went to West Marine to find stuff to clean the hull and bottom of Columbia River leftovers. Ryan tucked it into the garage. That boat gave me a place to write, to reflect, to happy hour and most of all......to connect. I love that I put it in the water. Now I feel like it is in the garage because it is so loved, rather than because it is so neglected.

- Him. This entire day was "coincidentally' shaped by  him.

Today was a good day.