Perspective

I keep Reid's health separate from his story because he was so much more than his health and wanted it to be like that. But his health taught me so much about perspective- plus I think I could pick up Nephrology and Hematology on the side if I needed some extra work. Kidding aside, he was complicated. When anybody asks how he died, the answer is challenging. Here it goes-

- He died of Septic Shock. Why did he have that?
- He got an infection through his port. Why did he have that?
- For his upcoming bone marrow transplant. How did it get infected?
- He had been receiving treatment, blood and platelets to stay alive for the last year and infection is a risk. Treatment for what?
- Well,that was the big question. He went through a roller coaster of diagnoses. Various cancers, not cancer, weird and rare bone marrow things....finally landed on aplastic anemia. How did he get that?
-  The thought to have been related to being on immunosuppressants for most of his life. Why was he on those?
-  Because of his 5 kidney transplants. Why did he have those?
- Lupus when he was a teen- It came in, fried his kidneys and left forever. Well, "forever" is a big word as he wondered often if it was involved in his last year. How did he get that?
- Dumb luck. He and his brothers would be a great study.
- How horrible for him and his family.......................see, that's where perspective comes in.

He was complicated but he didn't let that get in his way of loving life. He spent much of his early 20's waiting for his health to improve so he could get a transplant. Never again would he just wait for life if he didn't have to. He would live it completely.

When we first learning something was really wrong, we wandered (not lived) for a couple of weeks that seemed like eternity waiting for July 29th. This was the day to go through the test results and "the plan"-the first of many survival plans. The burden of the unknown was heavy- literally a weight that made it hard to breath. The "what if"'s....consuming. Finding chores to keep busy and be anywhere but the present. To all of those who know this feeling, I really never understood it. I do now.

Anyway, one day out of nowhere he said....or rather...announced "Look, we can't just sit here and wait for the other shoe to drop. We need to live". He was right. We were days into our last year but we didn't know it. Who really does? We were able to live and needed to.

And so we did. To this day, I don't wait for dropping shoes.