Anniversary Posting- 6 Months

I remember sitting on the kitchen counter telling my Mom that I just wanted to fall asleep and wake up 6 months later. I couldn’t go through this awake.

I remember Lori telling that I would regret that and Heidi encouraging me to feel everything. Here I am, the 6 month mark. I wish more than anything I could change the way things are but am thankful I stayed awake.

I have learned more in this time than I could ever imagine. I learned that I never ever understood what many of my friends and family went through in their loss-I admire their strength now more than before, much more. I learned I have the bravest daughters on this Earth. I have learned about  friendship. I learned you can’t rush healing- tried unsuccessfully at times. I had to dig extra deep this morning and did- I had help and have learned at times I desperately need it. I have learned that I have strength.

I have learned from loss, grown through grief more than I ever thought possible. I feel like I want to do something with all of this….whatever “this” is. Today, I continue living….really living…..this short life.