It's OK to be Happy!

The twists and turns of your grief journey are what make yours unique. You are the only one that has your specific memories, places, songs, history that can surprise you when you least expect it or even when you most expect it. 

Our youngest turned 16 this weekend. I find the our kids' birthdays are some of those that really tug at a grieving heart. This was not the way the celebration was supposed to look. Her Dad was to show her how to drive and help her to find the courage to take this next leap in life. Her confidence isn't there no matter how hard I try- but we keep trying. 

This is her 3rd birthday in her fatherless life and I thought I would be hold my breath and guide her through it. But I didn't need to. Happiness does happen and it's OK. I started the day with a pause and I thought about how thankful I was for our 23 years because here I am, guiding this little girl through adolescence into her life as a young adult. How could I not celebrate with my whole heart?! She is thriving and who am I to think our situation is not quite good enough? The day was wonderful. We celebrated her with my family. I shot texts off to her local "dad's side of the family" with the news that she passed her drivers test. She was worth every ounce of happy and we weren't doing it without her Dad in mind. 

I listened to this speaker recently talking about how we don't move on from loss, we move forward with it.  Such an eloquent way to speak such a complicated truth. Don't listen to "it doesn't get easier". It does. It absolutely does. It's not easier because it goes away. It just get easier to move forward with the loss of him. 

We celebrated her sweet 16 and he was with us. She drives his car now and it still says EWU Dad in the back window. It gives me peace. He wants it that way. 

Happy Happy Birthday to our Sweet Girl