Race Day- round 4

Today, on this 4th anniversary of his last day, I couldn't write anything better. I got a text today from the Make it 20 inspiration. "Happy Race Day. We think of you and the girls often.". It really is the little things. 

Race Day- 7/7/2019

This is a picture of me after the first time I walked the Fueled by Fine Wine half marathon- one of the most difficult in the country. Reid volunteered there so he could meet me at the finish line with my medal. He was crazy proud of the accomplishment and was my biggest fan. Volunteering also got him into the wine tent after the race and we love wine tents. I went on to do that race 3 more times. The last time was right when we had gotten thrown into the life of medical uncertainty. I didn't think I would ever do it it again and haven't. This is the last year of the race. It falls on the 3rd anniversary of his last day. I am meant to spend that day battling hills. Tomorrow is race day. 

As I have the previous two year, I will remember the 5am call from the hospital. I will remember the tearful good-byes our daughters said while he could still hear them. I will remember family and friends rushing to the hospital, just for one last moment with him. I will continue to be amazed that the doctor, the nurse and I, the final three in the room with him for his last breath, all share the same name. I find that to be so interesting. I will remember thanking him over and over for loving me even when I wasn't so lovable and assured him I felt the same.  I will remember them giving me his blanket, which his youngest daughter still sleeps with every day. I will remember every single detail of my darkest day ever. But I won't stay there.

I will remember him at the water station. I will remember him at the finish line. I will feel his presents with me through the whole thing because I believe more than I ever have before that it's true. I will close the Fueled by Fine Wine days.

I always refer to July 7th as his last day. There isn't really a good word for it. Maybe, starting this year, I will call it 'race day'.